Monday, August 3, 2015

I.B.'s Hoagies: French fry adventure

Damn right the fries are my way.

When it comes to French fries, consider me a professional. Let this post be something to cleanse your Internet palate of the lovely foodie posts on other blogs. I know for a fact that Berkeley is crawling with good food for low prices, but this is my blawg and I want to talk about I.B.'s. Also, consider this a middle finger to the Golden Bear Café, which has recently decreed that they will no longer sell fried foods. I only got to eat their chili cheese fries twice. I loved their French fries and tater tots. I worshiped at the altar of their deep fat fryer.

Anyways, it seems kind of foolish that I've never been to I.B.'s. Smoke's Poutinerie across the street used to be my fry fix, but they're overpriced and le poutine does not appeal to me. Their fries are flaccid and overly salty. They also look withered. I.B.'s better hold their shape, are a more appetizing golden color, and have better crisp-crunch. Imagery.

I claim to be a red-blooded, fast-food-eating, salt-of-the-earth gal that doesn't care about pretty plating and food trends, but I did, in fact, cut up an avocado and mix it about with my fries. I did it in broad daylight on Durant Ave with my Swiss Army knife, so I did redeem some of my dignity. Cheese curds and gravy a la Smoke's does not appeal to me, as I would like to still have some brain function after a meal.

By far the coolest thing about I.B.'s is their condiment bar. Behold:

I put horseradish, kimchi aioli, ranch, sriracha, and a blizzard of Tajín over those fries. Fuck le poutinerie for only having malt vinegar and ketchup. Avocado on top. By the way, I got the small order of fries in a large container for better ingredient mixing.

In summary: fuck GBC for getting rid of fries, but I.B.'s condiments are far superior; cheaper and better-tasting than le poutinerie; $2.49 for a small order of naked fries, customize to your heart's content.

I've been writing secondaries all month so this here was a bit of a writing break. Another remark: the regular fries are far superior to the sweet potato fries, which come with a bizarre garlic sauce. I am told to be suspicious of the hoagies, which are very reasonably priced.

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