A review of the clothes I bought in 2019

The first half of this year was taken up by clinical rotations largely spent in a small capsule wardrobe of all the wards-appropriate clothes I own. June to November were spent in scrubs: one month of anesthesiology elective and four of orthopedic surgery rotations. Other than that, I've been schlepping around my apartment in loungewear and wearing the same three outfits to friends gatherings and dates just for fun. So, not much new added to the wardrobe this calendar year, but some key items like my black leather boots.

January to June

1. Frye black leather ankle boots - $112 - after years and years of thinking about buying black leather ankle boots, I finally did, and it was worth it. Is there more to say?
2. Red crop top - gift from roommate - birthday present from my roommate, who also wears crop tops in our mid-20s. It's pretty loud and bright for my skin tone, but I've found occasions to wear it out.
3. Black and white striped dress - secondhand, from roommate - cute little dress that I wore to many a summertime date. It was too short for my tall roommate, so she passed it along to me, and it fits me just right.

July to December

1. Leather saddle bag - vintage - $25 - I bought this purely on impulse when I was wandering around downtown Charlottesville. There is an abundance of cute vintage stores and could imagine myself living a cute life in that cute town. I even tried on a few dresses from the 1940s just for fun, chatted with the people working there, and definitely felt like I needed to buy something. So I did, and it barely fits my phone, wallet, keys, and small miscellany. But I got a lot of use out of this little bag and I'm glad I did buy it, even on impulse.
2. Asics running shoes - $60 - my old ones were wearing out badly, and I found a colorway I liked on discount on Amazon.
3. Muji green merino wool turtleneck sweater - $55 - actually, this was an impulse purchase, on sale. I've wanted a green turtleneck knit for a long time, and tried on all the ones offered by Uniqlo and Muji one day (they are very close to each other in Boston) and bought my favorite. I actually do feel guilty about this one because it was not well-planned.
4. ExOfficio underwear, 3 pairs - $28 - Black Friday deal. Am phasing out my shabby underwear and wanted to get some that were high quality, lightweight, and designed for handwashing and drying quickly.

Total 9 items

Total $280

My post-mortem of my 2019 purchases is that despite the relatively small number of items, some were poor decisions. The green sweater was an impulse purchase that stemmed directly from me wanting to dress my fantasy self, a more put-together, poised person than I actually am. The color drew me in! I tried on four different sweaters in that color at MUJI, but really, I don't think I needed it. The green blouse doesn't suit me at all, and now that I'll be mostly in scrubs, I don't need to have more blouses at all. I feel like I'm aging out of some of my clothes, and that I do need to reassess my wardrobe, but the unhealthy thought patterns and impulses are still there. I'll need to work on that.

I'm actually staying at my home program for residency, and staying in my apartment. I was kind of expecting to have to leave, and undergo a massive decluttering and cleanout of my belongings. Despite my staying put, that's a worthy endeavor and I'll use this quarantine time to do that.

By the way: I'm patting myself on the back for the underwear purchase since I now know I have another year of handwashing ahead of me!

A review of my 2018 clothing purchases

Better late than never!

2018 was the transition from second to third year of medical school and all the responsibilities and growth and worry and challenges and accomplishments that go along with that. I did not, in fact, carefully develop and curate a professional wardrobe for the wards, but instead kind of just trundled along faking it with clothes that I already owned. I think I'm okay with that.

There are a lot of other things that happened in 2018, but as always, here is a roundup of the clothes that I bought. This is a practice to keep myself accountable, but also help forecast what I will need and want to buy in 2019. I think there has been a shift away from listing and counting in minimalism, but that kind of thing is in my nature.

January to June

1. Calypso St. Barth green silk embroidered dress - secondhand, Poshmark - $46 - this was a dress I had saved to a Pinterest board sometime early in college, and I found it on Poshmark and bought it with two friends' weddings in mind
2. Grey wool trousers - secondhand, gifted - $0 - my sibling bought these trousers from some thrift store and gave them to me. I didn't think I would wear them as much as I do.
3. Uniqlo blue striped linen shorts - $20 - nailed it with these shorts, wore them all summer
4. Eileen Fisher black silk t-shirt - secondhand, Poshmark - $30 - not a lot to say about this, other than I wear it weekly and hand wash it

July to December

1. Uniqlo black ponte dress - $30 - bought after our cat died, a bit too short for some clinical situations, but I do wear it to didactics
2. Uniqlo blue down puffy - $70 - as mentioned in this post

Total - 6 items, $196

Reflecting on this: it's not a lot, and I do see many flaws in my wardrobe pertaining to not enough. I am wearing through my hardworking black ballerina flats. A lot of my undergarments and socks are either falling apart or have undergone repairs - by the way, I'm pretty happy about increasing my skills in mending clothes! But I still anticipate replacing many things soon. While I don't think I look shabby, I do think I have room to improve my professional appearance. Ultimately, I'll be in a specialty that is in scrubs the vast majority of the time, so maybe I'm holding out on buying professional clothes to really nail in the quality over quantity point.

My last point of reflection is really about minimalism, and also about materialism. I think I understood this year that I actually am pretty materialistic in the sense that I have very strong, emotional attachments to my belongings, which makes decluttering hard. On the flip side, I really do subscribe to minimalism and hate excess in my life, so I restrict myself in owning things because I don't like to part with them. Somewhere, there is a balance between (1) being detached from earthly possessions and not letting them possess you, and (2) being attached to your stuff and in turn treating them with respect and care. Some intersection of the two is the basis of rejecting our modern disposable culture, and the basis for a ton of William Morris quotes/wardrobe curation/simple living and slow fashion/ethical consumption. Something something no ethical consumption under capitalism, but also, I don't know how I feel about influencers in this sphere. Greenwashing, too.

Anyways, that's it. Happy (belated) New Year to all!

Four years later, I finally bought a pair of black ankle boots! More on them later.

On my third winter in Boston, I finally bought a puffy

I'm giving away my vintage leather jacket, and I bought a down puffy from Uniqlo for triple its price. This was a good decision. Watch me justify it.

I bought and loved this vintage leather jacket when I was 17, in 2012. It saw me through the coldest, windiest day in Berkeley. It even saw me through a torrential downpour in Berkeley when I was walking home, and saw two raccoons slide into a storm drain -- it stopped me dead in my tracks, and I forgot to worry about the effect of rainwater on old leather (no effect). But in truth, I almost never wore it because it was almost never cold enough to tolerate it in Berkeley.

I wore it a lot more in Boston, where there are a lot more cold (30-50F) and non-rainy days where a heavy leather jacket is appropriate. But the more I wore it, the more its flaws bothered me. Windproof, but way too heavy. A distinctive look, but it added so much bulk to my frame. It's an attention-grabbing piece in person, and I'm not one who wants all the same wow cool jacket every time I wear it. It also smells bad when rained on.

I had a gap in my wardrobe to the effect of "too warm for the parka, but too wet for the peacoat or the leather jacket." For a long time now, I've wanted a down puffy, a staple of Boston because of its practicality. Added bonus of being important when camping. Something lightweight, reliably warm, and easy to layer under or over.

Recently, my disdain for the leather jacket and disenchantment of the wild, wild west Americana look it brought reached its peak, and it got cold enough to wish I had a down jacket. So I did it. I decided to lose the $20 and not bother reselling the leather jacket, and shell out $70 for a hooded down jacket at Uniqlo.

Which seems at odds with the minimalism-sustainability-slow fashion ethos I admire: I'm ditching a secondhand, high quality piece for a more expensive fast fashion one. But it's a decision two winters and cold springs in the making, and one that makes sense given my shift in tastes and priorities. I can take the puffy camping. It weighs almost nothing. It's subdued and functional, and just as warm. It has a hood and a high collar.

That's the way it is. As goes my favorite William Morris quote: "Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful." I have replaced something that has never been useful and was formerly beautiful, with something that is extremely useful and kind of beautiful.

Thank u, next

And to further my point, this is a picture of me from college with that leather jacket. Possibly Halloween 2012?

Spring into summer update

View of the green, green Colorado River from the South Kaibab trail

None of these pictures are in order. I think my dad took most of these. But since I'm probably going to take an eternity writing up a post about the Grand Canyon hike itself, here are some pictures.

Hello from third year of medical school. I'm starting on OB/Gyn and like it so far. Still waiting nervously for my Step 1 score and having catastrophic thoughts of not scoring high enough for my dream specialty. Felt all kinds of sadness and guilt and inadequacy when my research attending and some of the ortho residents I worked with last year said hello to me on the day I thought I would get my score back (they're delayed and I have to wait longer). Felt something similar when the resident who mentored me since first year called me volunteering advice for my surgical rotation (and then gave me some advice as a new parent whose wife delivered her baby on the floor I'm working on right now). Keeping an open mind is surprisingly not hard, since OB/Gyn is really cool, but it's also not hard to remember how happy and excited and home I felt in orthopedics.

I'm learning some things about myself. I'm getting better at talking to patients. I like our patient population (safety net hospital, non-white, non-rich, many immigrants, many complications). I have more role models now: two gynecological oncologists whose patients trust and adore them. Gyn-onc doc #1 speaks fluent English and Spanish, and proficient Haitian Creole and Cape Verdean/Portuguese Creole. Gyn-onc doc #2 speaks fluent English, Spanish, and Mandarin. About 1/3 of the patients that go through our hospital don't speak English (most common languages Spanish, Haitian Creole, Cape Verdean, Vietnamese...I would have lost my fucking mind if I had heard Doc #1 speaking Vietnamese). I don't think I'll go into OB/Gyn, but I do think I'll eventually work somewhere where I'll need to speak Spanish on the regular. Eventually I'll find my way.

My Spanish is getting good. I thought it was good until I heard Doc #2 speaking with perfect, perfect grammar. Subjunctive tense, correct yo forms of irregular verbs in all tenses, correct conjugation of mandates and everything. The feedback that I treasured most from last week was when a patient I interviewed asked me where I was born and raised, and if my parents were from Latin America. Like everything in third year, I'll get better at the things I want to improve on if I actively seek out opportunities to try. So on I go.

I'm moving into my new apartment at the end of the month, and I'm doing it slowly over the next few weeks. Always kind of been into ~~~minimalism~~~, but I've accumulated some junk during my first two years in Boston and am downsizing. Namely, I'm giving away some of my plants, since I propagated too many of them.

Lastly, I was really affected by Anthony Bourdain's suicide. I loved his shows, and his overall attitude and approach to life. He, too, spent some of his formative years in Massachusetts, and I'll spare the details so you read Kitchen Confidential. Part of this was because it came after the death of one of my friends and mentors from the free clinic I was part of in college. The O was the coolest almost-octogenarian I've met. He helped me find my feet when I was struggling with new leadership and more responsibilities in the running of the clinic. He gave me lots of solicited and unsolicited advice. I owe a lot to him, more than he knew. Wouldn't be in med school if it weren't for him, wouldn't have even wanted to become a doctor if it weren't for him. He said he'd thought he'd die in his 20s, then in his 40s, then went quietly a few days after a stroke pushing 80, surrounded by friends. I wish I could have seen him again.

Raw denim - a 13 month update, and some thoughts on jeans

A few years ago in college, one of my friends fell down the rabbit hole of r/malefashionadvice and took it upon himself to start dressing well. There was a period of time when he texted me and two others in our group every single time he bought something -- raw denim, cordovan boots, leather belt, weird thrifted sweatshirt with a painting of a dog screenprinted on it...

My jeans

...one thing we gave him particular shit about was his obsession with raw denim. Selvedge. Vocabulary words that I still don't completely understand or care to understand at this point. He babied his jeans, cared about each crease and fade, wore them every single day, soaked them in the bathtub. I didn't get it. I still don't really get it.

My tumble down the rabbit hole of raw denim was gradual over the years, and it was only 13 months ago that I bought a pair -- a less expensive pair, from Uniqlo. My two older Uniqlo jeans were stretchy and getting uncomfortably skinny, and I wanted the option of layering tights or leggings underneath them if it got that cold. So I got a new pair of jeans -- men's raw denim -- in size 29. That's another thing: I needed to accept that my body has changed since I was 19. I wanted a looser fit and that's what I bought.

I retired the two old pairs (of three - the other I wear in spring and autumn) and wore my new selvedge jeans damn near every day for the rest of the winter. And then I did it again this winter. They were stiff the first winter, rubbed indigo everywhere (I paid more attention to where I sat and leaned), and I actually think I should have sized down. I had too much fabric around my waist, and it sat weird under a belt. I really thought about getting them tailored.

Not really qualified to say what combo of soaking, washing, etc is the best. But I'm not dead set on having Reddit-worthy fades, so I wash my jeans regularly now. Then I made the stupid, stupid mistake of putting them through the dryer. This shrank them down to be more of a slim instead of a relaxed fit, but it fixed the waist issue. Now they fit like women's size 26 or 27. I'm glad I sized up when I did.

I liked not having to decide what kind of pants to wear every day. Unexpectedly, I got compliments on my style, that it was cohesive for so consistently featuring "dark blue or black" jeans. I don't own black jeans, but my winter ones are dark blue indeed.

So, that's where I am. I kind of wish I had taken more pictures with them over the past year. But, in the end, they're just jeans.

--

My own story of jeans began with something from Marshall's or Ross in middle school, then three <$10 pairs from Forever 21, then two pairs from Uniqlo in college, a thrifted pair, to present day. My preferred fit is mid-to-high rise, slim or straight leg, true or dark blue. I have to be able to squat and deadlift with full range of motion in them. Must look good cuffed or uncuffed. Nondescript. Absolutely no obvious branding. And for now, the search is over. I had a pretty bad relationship with jeans and body image as a youth, and I'm better at keeping it at bay. I think I'm in a good place now.

A review of my 2017 clothing purchases

Left: my jeans | Right: a crazy Monstera deliciosa trying its best to survive in the hospital

As always, to keep myself accountable. I don't like doing too many clothing or consumption related posts in a row, but my updates in general have been pretty sparse.

Call it what you will, I'm trying to have a more intentional and critical approach to my wardrobe. Shopping as an activity to do out and about is loathsome to me, but that doesn't capture how much time I burn thinking about clothes, researching them, looking at them on the internet, or even going into a store and trying things on without buying anything. With that in mind, I'm listing my purchases and acquisitions in chronological order, +/- $5.

January to March

1. Uniqlo men's selvedge denim jeans - $50 - my winter jeans. I will write a long post about just these jeans sometime soon
2. Uniqlo dress - $20 - a really good purchase. I love this dress and wear it as often as I can. It looks professional and suits my body shape

April to June

1. School group tank tops (2) - $28 - unfortunately, I didn't have a choice in buying these or not. One was to wear to Boston Pride, the other was because I was a hiking group leader for the first year orientation hike. I bought the first one by choice, second one because I felt like I had to. I need to be more vigilant, but these serve me fine at the gym
2. Uniqlo linen sleeveless shirt - $20 - so important in the muggy humidity of an East Coast summer
3. Uniqlo mock turtleneck shirt - $5.90 - my replacement for the Red Polo of my youth. I like the cut of this shirt a lot, but noticed that the color has faded. Additionally, I find that Uniqlo tops are sometimes just too short for me
4. Scrubs (3 pairs) - free - a very, very kind chief resident in orthopedic surgery gave me three pairs of scrubs (exchanged for new from the hospital scrub machine) when I told her my scrubs were from Goodwill, and that students don't get scrub cards. She was such a darling, and absolutely radiated warmth and authority both. She taught me a lot and I am so grateful to have found a female role model, if only for the summer.

July to September

1. Mizuno running shoes - $60 - my old pair had a hole, which I discovered after my sock got soaked with blood in the OR
2. Maggy London black silk dress - secondhand - $45 - 100% an impulse purchase off of Poshmark. It's a gorgeous dress that I would wear to any evening occasion, though it's a bit too big. My first foray into the online secondhand market

October to December

1. Volunteering event t-shirt - free - I didn't have a choice here
2. L.L. Bean flannel - $30 - not as stoked about the black Stewart colorway, and I also think this one fits boxier than the same flannel I got last year. This was purchased on steep discount
3. Old Navy pixie pants - $18 - for my growing professional wardrobe. Bought on Black Friday
4. Old Navy underwear (4) - $20 - also bought on Black Friday. Not a huge fan of them, and I wouldn't have bought them had I known my mother would force me to get red underwear for my zodiac year (my other Chinese-American friends warned me, I didn't listen)
5. Uniqlo heat tech thermal - free - Uniqlo had a code for a free thermal and I absolutely got it on impulse because it is so fucking cold in Boston - at the time of writing, it is 10*F
6. Calvin Klein underwear (5) - free - a 23rd birthday gift from my mother, per Chinese tradition. It's the year of the Dog next year so naturally I must have plenty of red underwear to ward off bad luck

Total amount spent on clothing in 2017 - $296.90

Total number of items purchased in 2017 - 27

Excluding the scrubs and underwear, that number comes to 12 items purchased in 2017, which I am quite happy with. I'm still in the process of building a professional wardrobe in time for third year rotations, and I'm still in the process of building a casual wardrobe fit for a young woman. Where I see a "lack" is definitely in the professional clothes category, to which I hope to add at least two more blouses and another pair of trousers, as well as a pair of black ankle boots that I still haven't bought.

Overall, I don't know if I'm any closer to developing a coherent personal style or not. Lots of Uniqlo here, but I think I've realized I'm not so suited to Uniqlo anymore.

A/W 2017 | Wardrobe Planning

Do people still do these posts? Is the 5 piece French wardrobe format still relevant? (I do) (And it is still a reasonable framework for clothing purchases for me)

1. Black leather boots - I've wanted a good pair of black leather boots for a very long time now, and I think this may be the season I finally drop the $ on a pair. These will probably serve as my primary autumn/winter professional shoe, especially once clerkships begin next year. As such, they need to be comfortable enough to wear all day in clinic and on the wards, though I probably will also buy something like Danskos for the OR and wherever scrubs are worn. Why boots, though? I thought about another black leather shoe like loafers, but these shoes must be suitable for snow and ice. Not that I'm expecting to trudge through inclement weather in them, but must be able to handle the elements in some capacity. Hustling the mere 50 yards from the medical school to the hospital in my heels during February was...not enjoyable.
2. Trousers - I have a pair of black trousers, but I expect I'll need more come third year. It may seem odd that I'm planning on buying stuff for clerkships right now, but I figured slowly adding to my professional wardrobe is better than trying to do it all at once. This will probably be bought from Old Navy (the popular Pixie pants...stupid name) or Uniqlo.
3. Black jeans - I recently cut up my pair of black jeans (more on that later, but it was in the name of a DIY project, and it was looking pretty shabby) so I may need to replace it. I'm not sure if I actually will. I'm curious to see how I fare this autumn and winter with the jeans I already have. Given I wore my selvedge denim jeans every day in January and February, I probably won't buy a new pair.
4. Shirting - I really want this flannel shirt, the Black Stewart colorway of my known favorite L.L. Bean scotch plaid. I also am thinking of slowly adding to my professional blouse/shirting wardrobe for next year.
5. Something for hiking - hiking pants? A jacket? In all likelihood, I'll buy more than one pair of trousers and fill up this spot. Not that I really stick strictly to the 5PFW model anyways. Oh yes, and I lost my watch somewhere and will need to replace it. I'm an idiot.

Reflecting back on last year: I am basically all set on winter gear, and would only really consider adding to technical outdoors clothes, and probably not even this year. I actually did buy the little black dress I mentioned last year, which I'll have a post about later.

The two other changes I'm making to my wardrobe are a refurbishing of an old coat (I cut off the sleeves and replaced them with material from my old jeans...it doesn't look as bad as it sounds), and the eventual tailoring of my raws. The waist is ridiculously large and I need to take it in. Since the fabric is so heavy and the jeans are so integral to my cold weather wardrobe, I may need to get this professionally done.

Lastly, I am planning on doing a wardrobe declutter soon. I hate that idea, that even after being choosy about bringing stuff to Boston I have things I don't wear and will get rid of. But that's the truth, and I'm holding myself accountable. I'll follow up at the end of winter with a wardrobe inventory of sorts to continue holding myself accountable. To be honest, the only things that I really "need" to buy are the boots and the trousers.

Summer clothes in Boston

The psychedelic floral dress returns

This time last year, I made a post of the outfits I wore to Germany. With the exception of two new tank tops -- for school organizations that I belong to -- and two shirts from Uniqlo, I have made no changes to my summer wardrobe.

Which is not to say that I will not buy anything on my return to Boston (currently escaping the humidity by going back to SF). I've evaded much of the heat by staying in the hospital freezing under the AC or burning up under lead in the OR.

linen shirt - Uniqlo | linen shorts - GAP | boat shoes - Sperry | watch - Casio

I finally bought this dark blue linen shirt from Uniqlo. I originally thought I would venture for something light-colored, but I am a creature of habit and hate the way light colors look on me. It's perfectly comfortable on even the most hellishly hot (and humid) days in Boston. The loose fit is very airy and helps the fabric not stick to my skin, and generally makes the thought of summer a bit more bearable. I wear an XS here, and generally use shoulder width to determine XXS, XS, or S in shirts.

Linen dresses in Muji

My hunt for the linen dress continues, though I will probably buy the second one (middle and right images) if it goes on sale. Sometimes I have to go places and do things where short shorts are not appropriate, even on unbearably hot days. Despite all the time I spent looking online for a good linen dress, this Muji one may be the most accessible. Granted, it does look like a dark blue potato sack unless I tie something around my waist (drawstring from my shorts shown above), but I was generally very impressed with it in the fitting room.

Hospital scrubs

A very, very kind chief resident gave me three pairs of scrubs in my size when I told her I had gotten mine from Goodwill. I won't be regularly in the hospital (much less the OR) this semester unless I have specific shadowing arrangements, so these scrubs will just have to wait until M3. But I would be remiss to leave this post without acknowledging that I spent most of my summer thus far wearing these. Not particularly flattering, but very comfortable.

--

I completely neglected this blog in the past few weeks. This post was kind of a cop-out because the posts that I had planned involved me going through tons and tons of photos (Germany posts from last summer, more gardens, more hiking). I also recently had an inexplicable hankering to write something more about personal style, wardrobe building, and fashion-related. One factor may be a pretty black dress that I basically impulse-bought off Poshmark. It hasn't arrived yet, but I hope it suits me.

--

The other thing that I wanted to examine was this notion of practicing minimalism or living with less or low/zero waste. I don't necessarily categorize myself as a "minimalist," but I have drunk more and more of the Kool-aid, read more and more of the "discourse" around it on Reddit/Instagram/blogs, and feel more equipped to use it as a tool to construct my own ethics about consumption, ownership, and...other stuff. If there's one thing I loathe about minimalism blogs, it's when they get preachy and take the moral super-high ground.

--

And my last thought of the night is that I had a conversation with some of my friends about shopping. None of us "go shopping" as a hobby, but we were having some premature worries about having to build up a professional wardrobe in time for clerkships. I'm still sticking to my guns about wardrobe planning and restricting the number of clothes that I'll buy, but I am planning ahead now.

--

And that's it. My next post will probably be a photographic summary of one year in Boston. One year already! Time really does fly.

Sartorial lessons from surgery

As an introduction to clinical medicine, we first years were individually placed with various school-affiliated physicians around Boston. I feel very, very lucky to have spent my Wednesdays at a surgical clinic at our teaching hospital, with a preceptor and mentor (Dr. M) who I hope to become one day. I could fill an entire blog post on clinical knowledge, surgery knowledge, life knowledge, and how-to-be-a-doctor knowledge I have accumulated, but this post is about the sartorial lessons.

In this clinic, the surgeons wear dark suits, ties, monograms, polished shoes, and no white coats. All other MDs and MDs-to-be wear white coats. What did this mean for me? These three outfits represent the only things I thought appropriate to wear to clinic, where male M3s in pastels and khakis looked exceedingly out of place.

Purple top - Ross | Trousers - Banana Republic (too fitted?) | Shoes - Fitzwell | Maroon blouse - NY&Co | Dress - Uniqlo | Watch - Casio

Lesson #0: I am a first year medical student unaccustomed to dressing professionally and have no idea what I'm doing

Lesson #1: when the attendings wear suits and look like bankers and politicians, go as formal as possible without wearing a suit

For me, this meant charcoal grey and quiet jewel tones. The sleeveless tops were fine because I always wore my white coat (not true for all placements). I generally dislike collared, button-down shirts because fit is so fickle with them. Blouses are more forgiving and read a bit more formal. I think I was in the minority of my female classmates who regularly wore a dress to clinic, but I am much, much more comfortable in a dress than in trousers. This one was long enough where sitting, standing, kneeling, etc were all very comfortable.

Lesson #2: accessories and layers matter. Comfortable shoes and a watch are necessary.

On top of these base outfits, I wore a black cardigan and black tights to stay warm during the winter. Because I had a locker at school, I never had to commute far in these clothes and could easily walk to clinic without snow boots, even in blizzard conditions. Because I err on the side of being too formal, I usually wore a dark grey overcoat instead of a parka.

Corollary to #2: an anecdote

Though I spent most of my time in clinic, I often accompanied Dr. M around the hospital to talk to radiologists or other services. Following around a much taller person while wearing heels can be a chore: the dress + low block heel made it manageable.

Dr. M's advice from one of these occasions: "I noticed that you're always walking a few steps behind me. Don't walk behind attendings, walk next to attendings. When a young female medical student walks behind a male attending, it looks subservient, especially if you're the only one there."

How does one young female medical student follow an attending around without looking subservient? Wear comfortable shoes and take longer strides.

Also Dr. M: "Always wear a watch."

Lesson #3: details matter when trying to look like a competent, clean, and professional adult

I got a lot of this kind of advice from my high school job at an ophthalmology clinic where my primary grooming objective was to not look like a high school student. I think that patients may be less inclined to trust someone who looks quite young and unkempt, and attendings less likely to take one seriously. I combed my hair and made sure my makeup looked okay before clinic, and that I wasn't tracking in salt, snow, slush, or ice. Unlike these pictures, I did try to make sure my white coat look like I had not just dug it out of my backpack.

Lesson #4: dress for the job you want?

These are just thoughts I've had from my placement at a surgical clinic where the surgeons wear suit. But also, I haven't seen what female attending surgeons wear when not in scrubs. Yet another thing: I want a woman surgeon as a mentor.

Any advice on how to dress professionally? Thoughts on how to succeed as a young female in a male-dominated field?

Sperry classic A/O boat shoes | Review

I have always wanted a pair of boat shoes. Why? My family does not own a boat, and even in my college summer days of lazy kayaking on Lake Merritt, I would not think to wear these shoes. I bought these shoes after I knew I would be going to medical school in Massachusetts, so perhaps I was a copycat, WASPy prepster wannabe this entire time.

Anyhow, on with the review.

Since buying these shoes in March 2016, I have worn them almost every non-rainy day between 65 and 80F; 40 - 65F is shared between these shoes and my long-suffering Dr. Martens Chelsea boots. Cost per wear is without a doubt under $1, perhaps even $0.50. I like them a lot, but would like them better if the leather were darker and the sole were not white -- my mistake, but I wear them to death nonetheless. They are effortless to slip on, comfortable, and practical. They are casual without being too sloppy, and are consistent with my standard level of formality.

I am a US women's 6.5 and am happy with the 7, even if I'm wearing thicker socks. They have almost no arch support to speak of, but I have worn them on heavy walking days (and even hiking in Germany) with no issue. That depends on you, though. The insole detached within the first summer. They smell if you wear them for too long without socks on a hot summer day. Or even a warm summer day.

The leather has been scuffed, stepped on, bathed in rainwater, splashed with scalding hot coffee, dipped in lakes and oceans and rivers, covered in dust and sand, and also plaster in the emergency department as I helped the ortho residents reduce two fractured and dislocated joints on the same patient. I normally don't wear these when I shadow in the hospital, but I had forgotten to bring my sneakers. I scrubbed off the plaster before I realized it gave the shoes character.

The soles are specifically designed for good grip on a slippery deck -- they do this job well, but have insufficient tread for muddy stone staircases in German forests, or dry Californian hillsides covered with leaf debris. They have been wearing down quite quickly, but that may just be because I wore them so much. The leather laces seem like they too are wearing down.

Overall, I love these shoes, but obviously don't care for them well and wear them fairly recklessly. They were the next in line from casual beater shoes of my youth -- black Converse, and sometimes blue Converse -- and I wear them with the same irreverence and joy as I did those that came before.

P.S. -- I plan on properly conditioning the leather this summer. They...basically look like hell right now, but hopefully some maintenance will improve that.

S/S 2017 | Wardrobe Planning

It's a bit odd to think about spring and summer when there's active snowfall and literal piles of snow and ice from a recent blizzard, but it's about time to think about what I'll be buying for the next few months.

In reality, this post was prompted by a recent shopping trip. I wanted to buy a shirt from Uniqlo, went into Uniqlo, and walked out with that shirt and a dress I hadn't planned for. It is a charcoal grey ponte dress with a flare skirt that is appropriate for clinic and any event where I need to look sharp. But still, it was an impulse purchase.

Summer in Boston is hotter and more humid than summer in the Bay Area. Basically, I am looking for linen garments. Read on for more information.

All from Pinterest, sources spotty. The black one is from Ovate

1. A linen dress, or two - I prefer dresses for warm weather. It's easy to look good and feel comfortable in a dress. It's a single, simple garment. I tried on some linen dresses last summer and loved the texture and the way the fabric moved. For truly sweltering days, I can only really stand to wear dresses. Here is a collection of dresses I've found on Pinterest, but really, the quest for the perfect linen dress is difficult because (1) there aren't many linen dresses for sale and (2) I am fairly picky when it comes to dresses
2. Dark red high-neck t-shirt, Uniqlo - I like this color on me and bought this to replace the dark red t-shirt I've demoted to workout gear and the unattainable Red Polo shirt of my youth. I liked the look of the charcoal grey and the light blue versions, but the former was out of stock and the latter looked nice, but I am still afraid of light colors
3. Dark blue sleeveless linen shirt, Uniqlo - I wanted to get one of these last summer, but was unsure about all the bright colors. Maybe this year will be the year
4. Drawstring shorts, preferably linen - I bought a pair of black linen shorts last summer and they served me well. I wore them maybe a bit too often so another pair seems like a good
5. Other - already bought the charcoal ponte dress from Uniqlo; I thought about getting a lightweight jacket for spring, but realized that I will probably just end up wearing my autumn outwear or knits; also, I'll probably need to get some thin no-show socks as well. 

I've been wondering a lot lately about ethical consumption and how my own consumption fits in. I mentioned Uniqlo quite a bit in this post -- I've written a bit about the evils of fast fashion, and yet the majority of my clothes come from Uniqlo and other fast fashion-type companies with questionable ethical code and ecological impact. I tell myself that I actually don't consume a lot, and find reasons for the things that I buy.

At the end of it, I think I have reasonable clothing consumption habits, with plenty of room to improve. 

A review of my 2016 clothing purchases

So. This year I spent quite a lot of money, especially for a medical student with no income on the tails of a very, very expensive application cycle. However, I paid for everything then and now with the money I saved from part-timing in high school.

Winter accessories and new shoes

Anyhow, I figured I should make this post because one of my reasons for having a blog in the first place is to audit myself and keep an honest look at my lifestyle. I've always wanted to follow the five piece French wardrobe format, as you may be able to see from my seasonal wardrobe planning posts of yore, but moving to Boston shot that plan right down.

Shorts, old sweater, and the first flannel -- RIP, I hardly knew ye

I've included estimates of prices, which should be +/- $5 from what I really paid. Photos do not show all of the items listed, but the ones left out are easy to imagine. My purchases will be roughly categorized by function, with individual items listed in chronological order

Winter

1. Fleece-lined leggings x 2 - January - $10
2. L.L. Bean winter warmer coat, black - August - $90
3. L.L. Bean duck boots, bison - August - $120
4. L.L. Bean wool socks x 2 - October - $20
5. Hat and scarf - October - $20
6. Gloves - November - $115
7. Smartwool baselayer, black - November - $60 (sale)
8. Uniqlo heat-tech leggings, black - December - $20

Total - $355

This was the most expensive category by far, which is reasonable. Save my baby and toddler years in Chicago, I have never lived in a place with a winter, and thus needed to buy the necessary gear to not freeze to death. I tried to go as long as possible without wearing some of the heavy duty stuff just to see how far I could stretch my current wardrobe. So far, I've only worn my winter coat when the high of the day is below freezing and/or if there is wind. The boots I've only worn once so far after a larger snowfall. However, we still have three more months of winter, and I quickly learned that on those snowy, cold, icy, windy days, I put my money in the right place.

The Smartwool baselayer was a godsend. I wore it a ton in November under my leather jacket and it kept me warm. I'll wear it under my coat under extreme cold days henceforth. I need to buy more wool socks because some other wool socks my mother gave me are not warm enough. Hat, scarf, and gloves are necessary and so far warm enough. It hasn't been cold enough to layer the leggings under my jeans, but it will happen and I will be ready.

This was money I had to spend. Boston winter is no joke!

Shoes

1. Sperry boat shoes - March - $80
2. Hiking boots - November - $85 (sale)

I wore the boat shoes almost every day from late March to early October and they are accordingly beaten up. They were expensive, but I like them a lot. I got the hiking boots after I went backpacking with my running shoes and got wrecked by lack of tread, lack of stability, and frostnip. I haven't gotten too many opportunities to test out the boots because it quickly got too cold and rainy to hike.

Clothing

1. Banana Republic Sloan trousers, black - January - $40 (sale)
2. Thrifted blazer, black - April - $10
3. GAP linen shorts, black - May - $15
4. L.L. Bean scotch plaid flannel, blackwatch x 2 - October and November - $75 (sale)
5. Uniqlo men's selvedge denim jeans - December - $50

Total - $185

The top two were impulse purchases: I knew I would need professional trousers and saw that there was a sale on Banana Republic and that was that. I've worn it to the hospital and will wear it to my clinical placements. The blazer was an emergency purchase for the conference I attended in April: the grad students miscommunicated the dress code and I had left my interview suit at my parents' house after the interview season ended. Goodwill came to the rescue: the cotton blazer came in handy for the Florida heat.

The shorts, flannel, and jeans have been worn regularly since their purchase. Regarding the L.L. Bean flannel: astute readers will recall that I lost my original shirt on a hike and replaced it during the Black Friday sale. Always hike wearing layers, but make sure they fit in your backpack.

Misc.

1. Casio F-91W watch - January - $10
2. Thrifted scrubs x 2 - August and November - $20

I bought a watch. It tells time. I wear it daily. I wore it to the conference where I was among surgeons who wore watches three orders of magnitude more expensive. I wore it all summer and got a watch tan. I also wore it to (and washed it after) many gross anatomy labs. It has been on my hand and grazed the insides of many cadavers.

Total amount spent on clothing in 2016 - $735

Total number of items purchased in 2016 - 23

Excluding the leggings and socks and scrubs, that number becomes 14, which is pretty reasonable. I do want to be highly critical of my consumption, but I'm not an ascetic or a minimalist. In fact, I am actively trying to build a more professional, adult wardrobe suitable for a medical student. Because I wear most of my clothes for more than five years, whatever I purchase now should be appropriate for a resident in her mid-20s. However, I'm glad that some of the big ticket items are now out of the way: winter coat and boots, interview suit, and handbag.

If you made it this far, congratulations and thank you for reading!

L.L. Bean black watch scotch plaid flannel | Outfit and Review

I present the L.L. Bean black watch scotch plaid flannel, the shirt of my dreams. It is warm. It is soft. The colorway is perfect. It fits well. I love it. I went from owning one L.L. Bean item -- the very sweater I am wearing here -- to five since coming to Boston. Shipping from Freeport, Maine to Boston is quick and easy. Here is a demonstration of an outfit I was pretty pleased with including those very items, as well as my preliminary thoughts on the shirt.

Sunglasses - Ray-Ban | Fisherman sweater - thrifted (L.L. Bean) | Flannel shirt - L.L. Bean | Belt - Uniqlo | Jeans - Uniqlo | Boots - Dr. Martens

Internet reviews agree that this shirt is boxy and runs very large -- fine by me, as I was looking for a looser fit. My first order of XS completely swallowed me up so I exchanged it for a XXS. At some point, I talked to a lovely customer service representative from Maine whose son was interested in applying to my medical school.

Shipping is free, but I was charged about $7 for the exchange, which I was fine with. I bought the original on sale, and that discount was honored on the exchange. L.L. Bean has a godly warranty, and I have heard that their scotch plaid flannels are still high quality and well worth the price ($45 regular, though I got 20%).

Please do forgive the weird angles and proportions -- I am a novice at outfit photos, and fashion blogger I am not. The only decoration in my room are my maps of Boston, Massachusetts, and New England, though I may put up some postcards when I have the motivation. Also, the sunglasses are there because I prefer to go internet incognito when convenient.

For more context on the fit, I am 5' 5" and have an approximate bust and waist measurement of 32" and 25". The shirt is in the Misses' Relaxed fit, and XXS supposedly fits bust sizes 31-32" with a 29" sleeve. It feels perfect at the shoulders, but I have cuffed the sleeves once in these pictures. The actual body of the shirt angles slightly outwards, it seems, and there is generally a lot of fabric at the midsection and in the sleeves.

The flannel is 100% cotton and made in El Salvador, very heavy and soft, and almost too warm to wear indoors. I wore it layered under this sweater -- 100% cotton, wooden buttons, made in Maine -- and was toasty warm on my walk to class this morning at 39F, and overheated when walking home at 52F at lunchtime. It is quite a stiff fabric, which is especially notable at the collar, cuffs, and midline.

I like to think that this shirt is one first step towards a wardrobe that I am very, very happy with. I was uncertain about buying a flannel shirt new for $45 ($36 on sale), but I have wanted this specific one for a very long time, and know I will cherish it for many years to come. The navy fisherman's sweater has long been a California winter staple since my senior year in high school, and I am happy that it will get more use in the Massachusetts autumns to come.

P.S. These grey jeans are too small for me, I know. When I bought them, I did not even lift, and I have made leg gains since coming to Boston. Upper body gains, on the other hand...

P.P.S Here I am wearing this shirt out in the field, a preview for an imminent blog post and adventure report.

A review of S/S 2016 wardrobe additions

Though I am not entirely sure when Boston changes from summer to autumn, I can safely say that I will not be purchasing any warm-weather garments in this calendar year. A few months ago, I outlined the garments I planned on purchasing in this sartorial season in this post. Of the five planned items, I purchased only two. In reality, I did not even look for a Breton shirt, a red polo, or anything seersucker.

Black linen shorts - GAP

These shorts were essential this summer. With the drawstring, loose fit, and opaque linen, these shorts are the ultimate heat wave garment. I appreciate the fact that they are just as comfortable as workout shorts, but far and away less sloppy.

Boat shoes - Sperry

Did I buy these because I knew I was moving to Massachusetts? Somewhat, but these turned out to be pretty great regardless. I have worn these almost every day since I got them in late March, sometimes with socks and sometimes without, in rain, shine, etc. I do switch to my Salt-Water sandals on particularly hot and sunny days or if I'm wearing a dress, but for the most part, these have been my default spring and summer shoes.

The lighting here is quite forgiving. The leather is very worn, very scuffed up, and in need of some TLC. Sockless + hot days = foot odor, so plan accordingly. The liner has become unglued, and I need to fix that soon. The heel wear is annoying because I don't think these can be easily resoled, but that's the consequence of several months of essentially continuous wear.

--

While my S/S 2016 acquisitions were not as planned, I did look ahead and buy some unplanned, but very necessary items.

Bean boots - L.L. Bean

First are a pair of the famous L.L. Bean duck boots. I'll probably write about these in more detail later, but many native and non-native New Englanders recommended these for the winter. My wardrobe planning going forward must include winter wear, of which I have none (except these boots, of course).

I really liked this colorway and bought it at the expense of extra lining and insulation. A rookie mistake? Perhaps, but if this comes back in the winter to freeze off my toes, I can take advantage of L.L. Bean's godly return policy and get a more practical pair.

So, about the aesthetics. Dark brown bison leather, red soles that looked more like hamburger meat online, dark brown rubber upper. It looks sharp. I feel like I could go back in time and roam the snowy woods of Maine with Leon Leonwood himself. Anyways...

...I'm normally a 6.5 or 7 and sized down as per L.L. Bean's suggestions to a 6. They fit snugly if I'm wearing double layers of socks, which will be thick wool socks in the winter. These probably won't see action until October at the earliest, even if we may be clipped by tropical storm Hermine tomorrow.

Doctor costume

Lastly, the medical stuff. I got a pair of scrubs for gross anatomy, $8 for the set at Goodwill. Sustainable fashion fans may scourge me, but I am most definitely going to be throwing these away after our anatomy block.

And actually lastly, my white coat. It's a purely symbolic garment at this point, but we are required to wear them to patient panels and in clinics/on the wards. Including it in this here blog post is pretty self-indulgent, but let it be a promise to be a good, useful member of the profession and to deserve this (honestly speaking) status symbol.

Anyhow, I will continue wardrobe planning because it is both fun and prudent. F/W 2016 post coming right up.

Kleidung in Deutschland

For a "personal style, etc" blog, there aren't many pictures of myself or my clothing here. It's partially because I am unfamiliar and uncomfortable photographing myself, but also because I think I dress very dully. What better occasion to showcase my wardrobe than a recap/reconstruction of the things I wore in Germany?

For about two weeks of travel (hiatus post said three, but I was a fool), I packed the following articles of clothing, sleeping clothes, and undergarments in a backpack just barely acceptable as carry-on luggage. I've also reconstructed some example outfits to incorporate all these pieces, and leave the imagination of other combinations that I could have worn as an exercise to the reader. Because I am a liar/don't like taking pictures of myself, all these photos come from my parents' house in California, but do represent fits appropriate for time, place, and weather on some leg of my trip.

Temperature range: mid-60s to mid-80s F

Weather: blazing hot cloudless sunny days to torrential downpour and thunderstorms

Steps taken (day): 10,000 to 41,000

Mileage (day): 5 to 17 miles

Lots of walking done, lots of ground covered, lots of sites (and sights) seen. Looking at all these outfits, it's clear that most of my wardrobe consists of schwarz, blau, grau.

grey t-shirt (Forever 21, autumn 2013) | belt (Uniqlo, autumn 2014) | trousers (H&M, spring 2013) | watch (Casio, spring 2016) | bag (somewhere in China, summer 2012) | shoes (Sperry, spring 2016) | cardigan (Gap, autumn 2015) | raincoat (REI, winter 2004) | sunglasses (Ray-Ban, spring 2012)

Look at all that fast fashion! Truthfully, most of my wardrobe is like this.

The first six days in Berlin and Hamburg were on the cooler, rainier side, and I basically wore this outfit with different t-shirts. Because I did not pay attention to the weather forecast, I packed one pair of long trousers and needed to borrow a pair of jeans from my sibling. We got completely drenched in one storm in Hamburg and I wondered if all the summer clothes I packed were wasted (they weren't). Freak thunderstorms in Heidelberg as well, but warmer weather in general.

I did not bring this bag to Germany, but it is more practical than the black Fossil Sydney top zip that I brought. I also brought a very un-chic mesh track bag for more active days of sightseeing, or if I wanted to bring my raincoat, snacks, water bottle, etc. 

black t-shirt (Forever 21, fall 2014) | denim shorts (American Apparel, summer 2015) | twill shorts (J. Crew, thrifted spring 2014) | sandals (Salt-Water, summer 2015) | black dress (ASOS, spring 2014)

I also brought and wore a few pairs of socks, but that's not represented here. Sandals were worn on unbearably hot days (mostly Salzburg). Sperrys without socks is possible on walking-heavy vacations! Just air them out and make sure they dry.

Here is a good place to share some of my observations about German dress. The temperature threshold for shorts is much higher than I am used to, and people generally dress more modestly than Californians. On one day in Berlin (high-60s F), I wore the first outfit here and was one of the only people I saw showing leg, which did make me feel self-conscious. But come our Bavaria/Salzburg, Austria/Heidelberg section, shorts and skirts and dresses galore.

Because Germany warmed up as our trip continued (and we made our way counter-clockwise south), I can't really make any observation about dressing in the north and the south. Funnily enough, it seemed like the starkest differences between German and American dressing was in the men's clothing than women's. Also, it amused me to see so many white leather Stan Smith/Adidas sneakers on German youth and early-20s -- my sibling explained that it's so they can seem trendy, but sporty. Hardly any casual leather shoes unless worn by fellow American tourists or older German Herren. More Isabel Marant Dickers-style boots there than here.

blue & white dress (Heavenly Couture, spring 2014) | grey shirt (Forever 21, summer 2012) | linen shorts (Old Navy, summer 2016) | hat (Columbia, very old) | striped crop top (Forever 21, summer 2015)

I wore the black linen shorts a ton on this trip, particularly in walking-heavy days and for any time spent in the woods. Despite the hat, my summer tan came from Austria, not California. While I did get some time hiking trails, the rigor of the "hiking" was doable with Sperrys and casual clothes. Fortunately, I packed lightweight, breathable, and easily-washed shirts and shorts so even on days when I was drenched in sweat (Salzburg), I was generally comfortable.

A bit more on comfort: with the exception of the grey denim shorts, all of these clothes were comfortable to wear on the many train rides we took. Having a light cardigan at hand was good for changing temperatures on/off trains. I never felt too out-of-place wearing the clothes that I did, though I am an oblivious, slovenly American tourist here. My feet never hurt from poor choice of shoes, but if you are going for a more nature-based trip, boat shoes will not be sufficient.

I think I have worn all of these varieties of outfits in museums and palaces. However, I opted for more conservative clothes when visiting memorial sites, government buildings, and cathedrals. Specifically, raincoat + cardigan + t-shirt + trousers in the House of the Wansee Conference, Reichstag building, and Hamburg Rathaus; t-shirt and jeans in the Cologne cathedral; and cardigan + blue & white dress at Dachau concentration camp and Munich Rathaus. At the Salzburg cathedral, I wore shorts (black linen) as did >60% of the visitors. I didn't see any dress code guidelines anywhere save for Dachau, but use your best judgment and show respect for the location.

Overall, I think that if I packed exactly these items with one pair of jeans and without one pair of shorts, I would have had the perfect set of clothes for the specific places and weather conditions of my trip. Though we encountered more forest "terrain" and did more walking than I expected, my footwear options were appropriate and sufficient. Accessories consisted of my sunglasses and watch, and I'm still not sure what the perfect bag to take would have been, but that's just details.

I own several other t-shirts, but this accounts for the majority of my warm weather wardrobe, actually. Also, these outfits include all of the S/S purchases I've made in 2015 and 2016 as outlined in previous wardrobe planning posts.

And the rest of this is post is just bonus material.

• die Hose - trousers
• das Kleid - dress
• die Lederschuhe - leather shoes
• die Sandalen - sandals
• der Hut - hat
• die Handtasche - handbag
• die Armbanduhr - wristwatch
• die Bluse - shirt
• die Strickjacke - cardigan
• der Regenmantel - raincoat
• die Sonnenbrille - sunglasses
• die Kleidung - clothing