Our class had planned a trip to a cabin in New Hampshire for this past weekend. Forecasts originally declared mild springtime weather, which then changed to snow to the tune of 12-18" in the north. Well, snow did fall on Boston, but never stuck around. New Hampshire, however, was not spared. Out were the plans for a nice spring hike, and in were plans for skiing, snowshoeing, and sledding.
As usual, I have a lot of photos I wanted to share, but not a substantial amount of content to go with it. Instead, I'll do as I have done before and include an assortment of thoughts that I've had lately.
School
I'm having more difficulty with medical school this semester than last semester. I'm not entirely sure why, but I'm working harder and trying to figure out how to improve. On the clinical front, I'm more comfortable interviewing patients and just being in the hospital or in clinic.
I also recently shadowed OB/Gyn on their Labor & Delivery service and saw two births. I think I may enjoy OB/Gyn, but I wonder if that's only because I saw a C-section.
Research
I applied for a grant and I hope I get it. For the application, I had to update my CV, which had been untouched since I applied to medical school. Well, I went trawling through conference program books for all my college contributions and found that my lab in college had "posthumously" presented my project. I was given second authorship, which is the highest I've been yet, but...
...it isn't fair. I had sent my lab emails two months ago asking if anyone had taken up my personal project, and got a resounding NO, that they had abandoned it and that I need not follow up. Now I see they've published it, used my code without my permission for very similar project, and expected me not to notice.
I talked to one of the medical school faculty about it. I should be happy to be able to add things to my CV, but that project was my personal project, and that lab was my home away from home.
Winter
I still get excited for snow. I feel like I got a bit cheated out of my first true winter, but seeing all the snow in New Hampshire that Boston was spared of was very gratifying.
Raw denim, a 3 month update
Remember awhile ago I mentioned I bought my first pair of raw denim jeans? I'm still wearing them, and I'm still...not washing them. The fades are slow to come, the fabric is still stiff, and the men's fit is not very flattering, but I still like them quite a lot. I hang them up and freeze them from time to time. I wear them almost daily, and found that they are warm enough for almost any time and place I am. I should take progress pictures, but I'm simply too lazy.
Blogging
I've recently become disenchanted with some blogs that I used to enjoy, and have found it hard to either stop reading them, or find new ones to read. I doubt any of them read my blog here. Sometimes it's camping on the moral high ground. Sometimes it's sneering at the other girls, the other bloggers. Sometimes the writing is a sermon filled with errors in spelling and grammar and word choice about the vapidity of other bloggers. Sometimes the comment section is an echo chamber. Sometimes they are just mediocre when before, they were a revelation.
Snowshoeing
I would gladly snowshoe again. Next time, I'll look for a longer hike and maybe go off-trail. As snowy as my photos look, there was no wind: a very peaceful snowfall at least until the trees dumped what they collected on their boughs right onto my head.
Snowshoe ownership, even if they are cheap ones, is now a goal of mine.
Friends
I'm still friends with the same people since early in medical school and we're getting closer. What surprised me on this trip was that I'm getting better at taking opportunities to socialize and bond, and that I'm getting better at finding common ground and having fun. In the beginning, I felt like my classmates were unapproachable and unfriendly, but that doesn't seem to be the case at all.
New Hampshire
I've been on a few road trips since medical school began and the little magic of the New England countryside has still not gone. Lots of picture-perfect little towns, ponds, covered bridges, reeds, woods come straight out of a Norman Rockwell painting. The vastness of the American West of my childhood road trips seem completely alien. I sometimes imagine that I could live in rural New England...
...we find a supermarket and do our shopping. I am suddenly aware of the fact that we are likely the only Asians for at least...I'm not sure, but there are definitely no other people of color in the supermarket. The people are friendly and kind, and the cashier asks me where we've come from.
"Boston," I say. That's far, she says.
She welcomes us to New Hampshire. Every time I visit, I wonder a little more if I could call New England home.
It isn't quite the same thing (it was just a "intern research" paper at an obscure little independent think tank), but I had someone surprise-publish my research too, and it just weirded me out! They put it up nearly a year after I worked there, with no warning at all, and they never indicated that they'd be interested while I worked there the year before. I assumed it was because my research topic was a little outside their wheelhouse and was fine with it, so it was weird to see it when I Googled myself later on.
ReplyDeleteYour snowy landscape photos are gorgeous! I sort of miss living somewhere snow actually sticks around a while, provided I don't have to be the one to handle snow removal.
I feel the same way as you do about blogs, often ones that I started reading way, way back in the day. Blogs are a very different platform from how they were in 2009-ish, I feel like, and I miss how it used to be.
I still don't really know what to think about that publication. When I talked to that faculty member about it, I surprised myself by crying and she told me that deep down, I know it wasn't right. I feel like I should be happy to add to my CV, but I feel bitter because I lost trust in a mentor and a lab that wasn't truthful with me.
DeleteI was "tricked" into shoveling snow, actually! I had never done it before, and got stuck shoveling out the cabin and the cars with some other eager Californians.
So much for spring! The snow made for beautiful pictures though, and still sounds like a nice time.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about what happened with your paper - that's really poor etiquette. Research can get sketchy when it comes to authorship. I haven't experienced the same as you, but a few years ago I was in a situation where I felt unfairly placed in the authorship order, but didn't really have the power to say anything about it.
I'm looking forward to spring, but I've really come to like the New England winter.
DeleteIt was for a conference presentation; if it were for a paper, I don't really know how I would feel. At the very best, this will be a learning experience.
If you are talking about me wrt blogging, sorry. I do realize I went off the rails. I will tone it down. Thanks for the feedback.
ReplyDeleteArchana, thanks for your reply. I read many blogs, and your entry was one of the more mild versions of what I described. Between blogs, YouTube channels, and other content, it seems like minimalism/ethical consumption has reached of a level of moral sermoning that mere mortals can't relate to.
DeleteI appreciate your thoughtful analysis on your blog, but also your candor and your opinions. You don't need to apologize for putting your thoughts on your own blog. I agreed with a good portion of your post, by the way.
You are so nice even with your criticism ! :) Thank you for that.
DeleteAfter I hit publish, I could feet it. I deleted my satire and was getting emails to reinstate it. I reluctantly did. I could see the ranty negative vibes I was giving off.
I am going to get off my high horse and do the thing I wanted to do in the first place : celebrate personal style.
*feel
DeleteHAPPY SPRING!!!!!!!!!! <3 hahah. // Sorry to hear about school, that it's getting more difficult (despite working harder? so you're working harder?). I can relate to that feeling, probably in a different way. Fall 2016 semester was super tough for me and took a pretty heavy emotional/mental toll on me. I have a friend who's still recovering (emotionally/mentally) this semester from last semester; I think I have an excellent skill of denial and blocking out that dark time in my life hahh. But anyways, I made it out the other side (barely??), and one way that I have benefited from that experience is that I feel capable of juggling my responsibilities this semester because they pale in comparison to last semester. Wishing you all the best!! // Also sorry to hear about the project authorship T_T UGHH. That wasn't a helpful comment but T_T <3 // I think I do feel like that about blogging at times. And I also get self-conscious about myself when I feel this way. But I never talk about it because I try to keep my blog generally positive?? idk. It does get frustrating sometimes. I usually just step away for a bit (not from blogging entirely, but from those blogs specifically) // Yay friends!!!! <3<3<3 -Audrey | Brunch at Audrey's
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